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Hello, I am Tatsuya Arakawa, a Licensed Marrieage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in California.

Specializing in adolescent mental health, I have conducted countless counseling sessions for middle and high school students and psychoeducation for parents. Through this experience, I have identified a damaging link between a lack of parental respect and the development of childhood mental illness.

This lack of respect typically manifests in two toxic patterns that every parent must recognize to protect their child’s psychological well-being.

1. Dehumanizing Communication Styles

Regardless of age, children deserve to be spoken to with basic human dignity. For teenagers, this is non-negotiable.

In many traditional households—particularly those influenced by the "parental authority is absolute" mindset—we see a dangerous hierarchy. This often manifests in two ways:

• Verbal Aggression: Raising your voice or yelling to demand compliance.

• The "Experience" Trap: Using the "I’ve lived longer, so I know better" argument to silence a child’s perspective.

While parents are responsible for ensuring children fulfill their duties, authoritarian suppression is counterproductive. When a parent ignores the reason behind a child's struggle and relies on intimidation, they create a breeding ground for:

• Depression: Stemming from a profound sense of being undervalued.

• Anxiety Disorders: Caused by the constant "hyper-vigilance" of not knowing when the next verbal attack or suppression will occur.

2. The Failure to Apologize (Broken Accountability)

A healthy home should be a microcosm of society. We teach children to follow rules so they can function as adults. However, accountability must go both ways.

Parents are human; we make mistakes. In a functional society, when you harm someone or make an error, you apologize. Yet, many parents refuse to apologize to their children, even when they are clearly in the wrong.

The Psychological Impact of Non-Apologies

When a parent fails to take responsibility, the child’s developing brain often defaults to "Personalization." They assume: "If my parent isn't sorry, I must be the one who did something wrong."

This internalized guilt and confusion are primary drivers of clinical depression in youth. True parental respect requires the humility to say, "I was wrong, and I am sorry."

Final Thoughts for Parents

Understanding the weight of your words and the power of an apology is the first step in safeguarding your child's mental health. Mutual respect is not "giving in"—it is building a foundation of trust that prevents long-term psychological trauma.