As a therapist specializing in anxiety issues, I have seen so many people engaging in what does not help anxiety issues. In this blog, I would like to list what does not help your anxiety and explain why.

1. Trying to think positively

This is the number 1 strategy a lot of people attempt without success. Why? Because what they are trying to do is to suppress negative feelings including anxieties. This can be temporally solution because you feel “better” momentarily.

However, we, humans, are not designed to have ability to control what we think. For instance, if I ask you not to think sushi, you did think about sushi now while you are reading it. Right?

Thoughts are designed to flow. They are supposed to come and go. Yet, if we try not to think about what we do not want to think about, what ended up happening is unwanted thoughts stay in your head (just like you try not to think about sushi!); they will continue to be there and continue to bother you.

2. Denial of anxiety

Very similar to suppressing negative feelings, denying anxiety is a common way to deal with unwanted thought that makes you anxious. Just like number 1, it is a temporally fix. By trying not to think about anything that makes you feel anxious, it works momentarily. However, by the time you move on to do something else, the anxiety is there welcoming you to suffer more. Because you do not want it again, you might try to deny it. This vicious cycle can lead to severe mental health issue such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression.

Have you ever met people who claim that they are always positive and do not think about negative? Well, they tend to use this tactic. They seem positive outside, yet they master not  thinking about negative things so much that they are not ever aware that they think about something negative and suffer from negative feelings.

3. Disputing anxiety

Anxiety usually goes like the following: “what if….” “If I……” It almost always involves with “IF.” Anxiety is a thought about the future. Unfortunately, we do not have any ways to foresee our future. Therefore, disputing your anxiety in your head is a never-ending process because we just cannot find out what will happen in the future. But when we dispute, what we really want is solid proof that things will turn out to be what we want. However, again, we do not know that. Therefore, this is very similar to “trying to think positively” and you are trapping yourself into the vicious cycle of anxiety because a minute you thought you “win” over anxiety, your brain is whispering you to something else that makes you feel anxious. You get my point.

4. Looking for confirmation

Those who try to “fight” anxiety tends to use this strategy; they want to make sure that unwanted future will not come to them. For instance, if they are worried about not passing exams, they will study as much as possible to the point where some may see it excessive. However, from their perspective, they are decreasing the possibility of not passing the exam. There are a few issues with this. First, there is no way to make sure that unwanted future will not occur because we just cannot see the future. Two, if you are doing something excessively, there might be some impairment in your life. For instance, you might be sleeping less because you are so anxious about not passing the exam; or you are purposely sleeping less to create more time to study.
Just like other strategies, looking for confirmation is designed not to work because there is no way to confirm with 100% accuracy that unwanted future will not come. However, as long as we are listening too much to anxiety, we will try to look for 100% confirmation. At the end, again, the vicious cycle is created.

So, what can we do now then?
I would like to talk about the actual solution for this anxiety issue in the next blog.

Tatsuya Arakawa, LMFT 82425

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As AI therapy and so many other platforms to see a therapist have become more prevalent, it seems clear to me that so many people are misunderstanding what it means to suffer from mental health and what it means to receive treatment for mental health.

In this blog, I would like to discuss typical symptoms of mental health issues.

Depression

Here is the list of the typical symptoms of depression I often see. Some can be obvious for many people, but you might find it interesting to see other symptoms in this list.

Lack of motivation

People often lose motivation to do pretty much anything including work and your favorite activities. Even if you engage with your favorite activities, it does not seem as fun as you might normally fee.

Sleep

Sleep is affected as well. You either cannot sleep well, cannot fall asleep, or sleep too much; you might suffer from one or more of them.

Feeling sad all the time

You just cannot explain why but you feel sad all the time. You do not have to be able to explain why because that is what depression does to you.

Tends to blame self for anything or something that you do not usually blame yourself for.

If you are the person who tends to blame yourself often, this might not be considered as a depression symptom. However, if you are not, yet you have been blaming yourself too much, this can be a sign of depression.

Thinking about worst case scenario all the time and feeling like you are already living in a world where the worst anxiety becomes real.

Sometimes, depression stems from anxiety. Because you are so anxious about certain things and you cannot stop thinking about worst case scenario, brain misunderstands believing that worst case scenario already exists (even though in actuality, it has not happened). This can make you feel depressed as well.

If you are experiencing any of the symptoms above, you might be experiencing depression.

Anxiety

First, please know that it is natural for human beings (unless you have brain damage or some sort) to be anxious. In fact, without anxiety, we would be walking on freeway because we would not be able to “think” that we would be hit by a car.

When anxiety becomes an issue, we usually have difficulty controlling our anxieties.

Here is the list:

Irritability

If you find yourself you feel irritable more than usual, this could be a sign that you are having issues with anxiety.

Worst case scenario

Thinking about the worst situation is normal; thinking about it too much and/or thinking about it to the point where you cannot think about anything else can be a sign of anxiety disorder.

“What if”

If you tend to think “what if” often and cannot stop thinking about it, this is usually a sign you are having difficulty controlling your anxiety.

Stomachache

If you are experiencing stomachache, and you see a doctor who told you that you do not have any physical issues, it could be a sign that you are suffering from anxiety disorder. This often occurs to those who have difficulty expressing their feelings and/or those who have difficulty detecting other symptoms stemming from anxiety disorder. Reason is that when you are anxious, your body is supposed to produce acid in your stomach. However, if anxiety is too much, acid can be produced too much.

If you are experiencing any of the symptoms above, you might be experiencing depression.

Adolescents

The symptoms aforementioned are also applicable to adolescents. Yet, adolescents’ mental health symptoms can be different to the ones for adults. Here, I would like to explain some symptoms that I see often in adolescents.

Irritability

Yes, adolescents tend to feel irritable more than adults do. However, if it seems like they are having difficulty controlling their irritability and have been ongoing for a long time, it might be time to take them to a mental health therapist because it could be a sign of depression and/or anxiety disorder.

Getting angry too often

Just like irritability, adolescents in nature tend to be angry more than adults. However, if they are getting angry too often and/or they get angry to the point where they break something, throw something, or scream, it can be a sign of depression.

Thinking too much about how others think of them.

Again, yes, this can be another sign that adolescents being themselves; meanwhile, if they are thinking too much about it, it can be a sign that they are suffering from anxiety disorder and parents should not dismiss.

Please be aware that those symptoms above are just examples. There are many other symptoms that could be a sign of mental health issues. If you have any concerns, please talk to your primary care doctor or contact me.

In the next blog, I would like to discuss what it means to receive treatment for mental health issues.

Tatsuya Arakawa
Licensed Marriage and Family therapist (#82425)

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