Testimonial from a Father of a Teenage Daughter
What kind of concerns or issues were you struggling with before receiving Tatsuya's therapy?
Our family relocated to the U.S., and my daughter started attending middle school. However, as she had no English proficiency, she gradually began to resist attending school and participating in classes, eventually becoming completely school-avoidant. In Japan, she had never missed school except for illness, so I was unsure how to respond to the school’s concerns and requests for meetings.
How did Tatsuya's therapy help improve your situation?
During middle school, thanks to the school’s efforts, she eventually started attending about four days a week and participating in roughly half of her classes. However, when she transitioned to high school, she lost her friends, and classes became more discussion-based, which worsened the situation again. By the time we are about to return to Japan, she had improved to attending school four to five days a week.
Due to her ADHD, she struggled to prioritize tasks from a long-term perspective. Since communicating with her friends in Japan was her primary source of enjoyment, we introduced structure around her smartphone usage, which helped her manage her homework and other responsibilities more effectively.
What was your impression of therapy before and after?
Before therapy, I had no prior experience with it and honestly started it mainly to show the school that we were taking steps to address the absenteeism. I didn’t have high expectations. While my relationship with my daughter was not bad, she wasn’t the type to share much about important matters, and I had very little understanding of her internal struggles.
Through nearly a year and a half of therapy and many sessions with my daughter, I was able to build a relationship with her that balanced empathy with clear boundaries. Therapy didn’t bring dramatic overnight changes, but it provided valuable insights into what actions and conversations were effective and what weren’t. I came to see it as a learning process for parents to understand how their influence can shape their child’s behavior.
Even after therapy ends, my daughter’s challenges will not completely disappear. Since she has ADHD, she will likely always feel a gap between herself and society. However, therapy has helped me learn how to guide her in gradually adjusting her behavior, both until she reaches adulthood and even beyond if necessary.
What did you like about the therapist?
For most parents, their relationship with their child is the most significant influence in their lives. However, parents rarely get an outsider’s perspective on their parent-child dynamic, as they typically only have their own upbringing as a reference point.
Through therapy, I was able to reevaluate my interactions with my daughter, including our conversations and expressions, and identify areas that needed improvement. Having these aspects pointed out and reconsidering them was extremely beneficial.
Who would you recommend the therapist to?
Moving from Japan to the U.S. brings dramatic changes for both parents and children. Whether a family can navigate these changes successfully depends on many factors beyond just personal qualities or effort. Issues that were never apparent in Japan may surface unexpectedly under these new circumstances.
Rather than reacting with anger or resignation, parents and children must work together to rebuild their relationship and overcome these challenges—but this is not an easy task. While a quick fix may exist, for those who want to take this opportunity to carefully reevaluate their approach from a long-term perspective, I strongly recommend therapy.